Brett sped down the road skillfully dodging in and out of traffic.  Ignoring Brett’s attempt at race car driving I looked out the window and noticed a speed limit sign posting a 45mph limit.  I glanced over at the speedometer, the needle pointed to 65mph.  Brett wasn’t wearing his contacts or his glasses, so I wasn’t sure he had seen the sign.  I decided we didn’t want to pay for a speeding ticket so I said, “The speed limit is 45 and you are doing 65.”  He glanced over at me so I knew he had heard what I said, but he didn’t bother to move his foot from the accelerator to the brake.  Instead he said, “Speed limits are for other people.”  and then re-focused on his driving and continued to dodge in and out of traffic.

I have celebrated 48 birthdays, which breaks down into approximately 2500 weekends. I have spent most of those weekends attending church.  I have read the Bible through once so I have read all the wisdom the Bible has to offer me as guidance in how to live my life.  Unfortunately, while I generally pride myself on having a pretty good memory, some things I seem to be able to hear over and over again and just don’t “get”.

In the course of my nearly 2500 weekends of attending church I’m sure I have sung the song, “Humble Thy Self In The Sight Of The Lord” more times than I could count.  But, I never really gave much thought to what it meant to be a humble person until recently.  Just like Brett who heard me say he was going twenty miles over the speed limit but did nothing about it, I have heard sermons about humility, read all the Bible texts about humility, and sung songs about humility but never did an examination of my own life in search of humility.

Consider these words of Christ, “I am among you as the One who serves.”  Luke 22:27.  Those are the words of Jesus, but I think humans as a whole are generally inclined to say, “I am here to show you the way.  Look at me, see how much I know, listen to me and some day you can be as great as I am.”

Jesus lived a life of humility.  If I haven’t fully clothed myself in the humility of Jesus then everything else I’ve put on are just trappings.  Literally.  If I haven’t accepted the humility of  Jesus than I am trapped in all the various ‘prides’ in the world .  Intellectual pride.  Ownership pride.  Perfectionist pride.  Stubborn pride. The problem with my  being trapped in pride is that I am constantly participating in it, not even knowing it.

“Let us admit that there is nothing so natural to man, nothing so insidious and hidden from our sight, nothing so difficult and dangerous, as pride…….It is pride that made redemption necessary.  It is from our pride we need, above eveything to be redeemed.”  (Humility, Andrew Murray)

My ultimate prayer needs to be, “God, be the root of my life, so that all my thoughts and actions,  every, branch, leaf, and fruit of my life springs from the strength of Your humility. True humility requires the kind of strength that only God can provide.

For the LORD takes pleasure in his people; He adorns the humble with salvation.  Psalm 149:4

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Philippians 2:3

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

My phone alerted me to a new text message.  My former neighbor wanted a partner to go to old town and take a look at a table and chairs for her new neighbors who had moved in with two small children and only a full size bed for furniture.  I texted back and told her to come on over and pick me up.

We stopped at a used furniture store on the way to see the table and chairs.  Keeping an eye on the kids we wandered the store and commented on the furniture, but everything was over the budget.  Hopping back in the van my friend followed the voice of the GPS to the address with the table and chairs.  This was the older section of town and the kids were afraid to get out of the van.  My friends oldest son bolstered everyones courage with a prayer for safety and everyone got out and walked up to the old Victorian style home that had been remodeled into several apartments.  We rang the door bell, but no one answered.  My former neighbor pulled out her phone and called the number, we could hear the phone ringing in the apartment, but no one answered the phone.  With obvious relief the kids were glad to get back to the van.

We decided our next stop should be The Salvation Army thrift store.  My friend navigated through the narrow one way streets back to the main street through town.  In the ten to fifteen minutes since we had stopped at a stoplight down town, the electricity had gone down, no doubt due to the above average temperatures, and now two police officers were directing traffic.  Each stop light we drove through a neon yellow vested police officer directed traffic to stop and go.  After much stopping and going through the heavier than usual traffic we arrived at the thrift store, only to discover it was closed due the electricity outage.

As my friend drove through traffic and the intersections directed by the police officers she followed their directions, she didn’t try to look ahead and follow the directions from the police officer at the next stop light.  No, she followed the directions for where she was at in that moment.  God has a plan for our life and He gives us directions for each moment.  We are not to look back, or try to see what we should do in the future, we need to follow His directions at that very moment.  Chaos would have erupted and no doubt people would have been hurt if my friend had decided to not follow the directions of the neon yellow vested police officer at each intersection.  Just like my friend waited for the officer to clear the intersection before she moved forward, God will also wait until just the right moment to clear the path before us.  I highly doubt, for example, that God bothered practicing to open the Red Sea before Moses and the Israelites needed it.  But, just at the right time they needed to cross the sea, God provided the power to do it.  We need to trust God to direct us in the paths He has planned for us to go.

We need to trust God’s love for us and use the faith He has given us to go in the direction He has planned for us.  We can’t see the end results of our choices like God can.  He wants us to open our hearts and minds to the beauty that could be.  The beauty that we can’t seem to see because we are seeing through our own realty rather than His.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:7

In Your unfailing love, You will lead the people you have redeemed.  In Your strength You will guide them to Your holy dwelling.   Exodus 15:13

Brett was at the wheel of the car when a light showed up on the dashboard.  I pulled the car manual out of the glove box and proceeded to search for the definition of the light.  We breathed a sigh of relief when the book told us the symbol simply meant low tire pressure.   We would pull up to a gas station and put in some air.

The next morning Brett stepped out of the front door of our home and noticed the offending tire was now flatter than it’s companion tires.  It still seemed like a simple fix.  I would postpone grocery shopping til the afternoon and he would run the car into a tire repair shop and they would fix the leak.  After much searching the tire repair shop found a pinhole size leak, but they were unable to fix it because of where it was located on the tire.  It still seemed like a simple fix, until the tire man told Brett it would be $200 to replace the tire.

Brett decided to come home and do some research before he paid $200 for a single tire.  After several phone calls he found a shop with the tire we needed for $150.  He placed an order for the tire and the person at the other end of the phone assured him the tire would arrive by 10am the following morning.  The woman at the shop assured Brett they would call him to alert him of the arrival of the tires.  It all sounded so simple until…..

By 4pm the next day the tire repair shop still hadn’t called.  The shop was in a larger town about thirty minutes from where we live  so we had driven over early planning to do some grocery shopping while waiting on the shop to call us and tell us to bring our car in.  Finally Brett called the shop.  They did not have us scheduled, but they did have the tires.  We could come right on over since the shop was not busy at the moment.  We pulled up to the shop only to discover they were busy and understaffed.  One of the shops repairmen talked to Brett telling him that they could not replace just one tire because of the all-time, all-wheel drive system on the car.  Due to one small pin hole that could not be repaired in one tire we needed to replace all four of them.

Brett was not willing to part with the money for such a repair so he called the maker of our car and they confirmed that if we drove on one new tire and three slightly used tires it could ruin the all-wheel drive system.  Our simple problem had now become complicated.  We had begun our solution to a small hole in our tire with a trip to the gas station and now we were faced with replacing all four tires at $150 per tire.

When King Nebuchadnezzar discovered three young men who refused to follow his order to bow to an image of himself, I’m sure it seemed simple enough to solve his problem by carrying out his threat to throw them an intensely, blazing furnace.  But, can you imagine how what had once seemed so simple now became complicated?  The three young men who should have immediately been consumed by the fire were now walking in the flames and there weren’t just three, there were four!  And the fourth looked like a son of the gods! (Daniel 3:25)

Then the king called the men to come out of the furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego emerged unharmed, with not even a hair on their heads singed or the smell of smoke on their clothing.

Needless to say, this made quite an impression on Nebuchadnezzar who declared,  “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. (Daniel 3:28)

When  faced with the power of God, King Nebuchadnezzar acknowledged a power greater than his.  It seems simple enough to do when I read about someone else doing it, but when it boils right down to doing it myself, it becomes much more complicated to simply give up my will to follow the will of God.  My deeply ingrained need of self-preservation rises to the surface any time I am asked to cross my will to do the will of my Father in heaven.  What I need to practice so many times  day is to simply say, like Jesus did, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”  (Luke 22;42)

Part 1

I put the potatoes in a large to pot to boil on the stove for dinner.  Then I pulled out all the necessary items  to make peanut butter cookies.  Aspen helped me measure, pour, and stir.  We dropped the dough onto the cookie sheet and put it in the oven.  An hour later I was still baking cookies and glanced over at the pot of potatoes.  They should have been done, but I was wrapped up in baking the cookies without burning them and my half-hearted glanced told me steam was still escaping from the lid of the pot.

I left the kitchen for a few minutes to run downstairs.  When I came back upstairs I smelled the undeniable aroma of scorched food.  I quickly checked the oven to make sure it wasn’t the cookies.  Relief flooded me when I confirmed the cookies weren’t even brown yet.  I winced a little at my absent-mindedness allowing me to ignore the potatoes while I worked on baking the cookies to perfection.  I turned off the burner and removed the pan from the burner.  What had appeared to be steam escaping from the lid of the pot had actually been smoke.  Once all the water had evaporated from the pot, the potatoes had succumbed to the natural consequences and begun to scorch.

It crossed my mind that just like the pot appeared to be boiling while steam escaped from the lid, it wasn’t steam, but smoke.  In the same way I can look at my spiritual life and think it is cooking just fine, when in reality i’m just blowing smoke.  Just like I was completely involved in making cookies and perceived the smoke to be steam I can just as easily mistake all my good works for a real relationship with God.  Don’t get me wrong.  Good works are great and God needs them to grow His kingdom.  But it is easy to get caught up in what I think I should be doing rather than taking time to seek God and His plan for my life.

Part 2

This morning I got up early and took my son to work at just after 7am.  I generally don’t bother getting dressed, I just run a brush through my hair and wear my pajamas figuring that nobody else on the freeway cares what I look like.  As luck would have it while I was driving this morning I noticed the gas light come on.  I did not look forward to putting gas in while wearing my pj’s at the gas station.  After dropping my son off at work, I chose the smaller of the two closest gas stations, hedging my bets that it would have fewer people putting gas in at 7am.  When I pulled up about half a dozen others were already pumping gas.  I took mental note that everyone else had managed to get dressed and probably showered  before leaving their houses.  I can be pretty sure that none of those half a dozen people at the gas station even noticed my presence, let alone stopped to think any thoughts about my wearing my pj’s with my hair somewhat disheveled.  But I felt vulnerable and conspicuous at appearing in public looking like I usually only look in private.

When I stand before God and leave my plan behind while I wait on His plan, I can feel vulnerable like that.  It is not a pleasant feeling and I want to scramble to fix it.  In fact, while I am waiting on God’s plan I feel better if I just go ahead and fill in the empty space with busy work.  But, the problem with that plan is I can get so busy and so involved in my own plan, as well as comfortable with my own leading that when God tries to get my attention I brush Him aside and continue blowing the smoke of my own good works.

God created us.  God has a plan for us.  God wants the absolute best for us.  But, in order to know His plan for me I need to give up my plan and stand in His presence.  I need to live in His presence.  In His presence is the path of life.  In His presence is fullness of joy.  At His right hand are pleasure forever more.  (Psalm 16:11)  Every moment is a new opportunity to breathe in the presence of God and allow Him to transform our lives into a beautiful symphony for Him.

The border guards pointed us to a parking space and ordered us out of the car.  Don’t take anything with you, they barked, no cell phones. Nothing!  We stepped out of the car, hesitant about what to do next.  Using the same tone of voice the female border guard directed us to stand in front of our car.  We watched while they opened the car doors to search for illegal contraband.  When I lived in Alaska I crossed the Canadian/US border 13 times while traveling to the lower 48.  I had seen searches of other people’s cars, and had always felt slightly smug I was the type of person who wouldn’t be pulled over to have my car searched.  But here I stood, as if I had done something wrong.  Which I hadn’t of course.  Well, not really.

A couple of hours into our trip from Maryland to Michigan, I mentioned to Brett that Niagara Falls was within four or five hours of our place and we should go there sometime.  I meant some vague time in the future.  Always up for an adventure Brett suggested we go to Canada to see the falls for a couple of days after his meetings in Michigan. Brett is like that, he likes to jump right into what he thinks is a great idea without too much forethought.  I nonchalantly agreed and the plan was laid.  It didn’t cross our minds that we were grossly unprepared to cross the border into another country.

A few days later we spent the afternoon driving from SW Michigan to the border crossing for the falls.    Shortly before the border traffic slowed.  We crept across the bridge while looking for the fastest moving lane.   A sign announced we needed to have our identification ready.  It seemed so easy.  We both pulled out our drivers licenses and waited for our line to move forward.  When our turn came I pulled up to the border patrol officer and handed him our identification.  He looked at our drivers licenses and asked if we had any passports or birth certificates.  When he discovered this was the only identification we had for ourselves and we had no ID for Aspen, he could barely disguise his disgust at our ignorance.  He pulled out a note pad for such occasions and filled out a slip of paper describing our crimes.  He handed it to me and directed us  to pull over to the building with the Canadian flag.

That is how we found ourselves standing in front of our car while it was searched for illegal contraband.  Eventually satisfied we weren’t smugglers, they allowed us to go into the building to face the proper authorities who would decide if we could cross into their country or if we needed to turn around and go back to where we came from.  We looked at the long, slow-moving line of cars waiting to get into the United States and sincerely hoped someone would let us into Canada despite our naiveté.   Brett called our son Colby, who was  at home.  Without explaining the situation he told Colby where to find the box with our birth certificates.  Colby found them while we waited for someone behind the counter to call our number.  Apparently we weren’t the only miscreants trying to cross the border without all the correct paper work.

A voice from behind the counter called our name and we stepped forward.  We answered every question respectfully and Brett offered to have our birth certificates emailed to their office.  The young man wasn’t completely sure of the correct protocol so he discussed this possibility with a co-worker.  They finally agreed emailing the birth certificates was a viable option.  Brett called Colby back and Colby dutifully sent our birth certificates through the internet.  After several unsuccessful tries, Brett and Aspens birth certificates showed up in an email.  Despite Colby sending mine several times it never showed up.  I could see the border patrol officer’s boredom and impatience at the wait.  Finally he said it was fine if they didn’t have mine, all they really wanted was proof of identification for Aspen.  He filled out another slip of paper clearing us of any wrong doing and allowed us to cross into Canada.

We had a fun-filled experience seeing Niagara Falls from the Canadian side.  Too soon our time was up and we checked out of the hotel to return home.  I won’t bore you with the details, but getting back into the US was almost as difficult as getting into Canada!

Matthew 25 shares the story of the parable of the ten virgins.  The ten young women were waiting for the bridegroom so they could go to the wedding.  He took longer than expected and they all fell asleep.  They awoke to the announcement that the bridegroom had arrived.  But, only five of the virgins had extra oil for their lamps, while the other five hadn’t thought to prepare ahead and had no oil.  In the story, without oil for their lamps, they were unable to attend the wedding.

Brett and I were certainly unprepared to cross the border into Canada.  We wanted to go, it sounded like fun to see Niagara Falls, but we didn’t really prepare to go.  Since we didn’t prepare, our trip wasn’t as smooth sailing as it could have been.  We certainly ran into some bumps while trying to cross the border both ways.

If I want my relationship with God to grow and become deeper  I need to prepare for that experience by spending time with Him.  I prepare to have a deeper relationship with God by seeking Him first.  Just like the five wise virgins first prepared for the wedding by seeking and obtaining the extra oil they needed, I need to seek God first daily in order to have the deep connectedness with Him that I desire.