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Monthly Archives: October 2012

My Fairy Tale Marriage

31 Wednesday Oct 2012

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When I first met my husband I was determined not to like him.  Some mutual friends of ours had done their best to tell me how great he was at every available chance.  Everything they said seemed like one big commercial for Brett.  I’m quite sure they believed he could walk on water!  Or so it seemed.  Our first meeting was duly unimpressive.  I easily walked away and scoffed to myself, “So THAT was the great Brett Hadley?”

Almost a year later when Brett kissed me for the first time I had to rearrange my thinking.  This could actually go somewhere I mused.  But, I didn’t want to waste my time in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.  I also didn’t want to  rely on my own judgement call about such an important decision as a possible long-term relationship.  

So I gave some thought to what a “perfect marriage” might be.  I decided that the perfect marriage would include the Cinderella fairy tale ending lasting forever.  What was that you ask?  Forever being romantically in-love with just one person and never being distracted by someone else!  I figured that certainly that was a great way to ascertain that the person in question was actually “the one and only”.  So I told God, “Ok, well if this is going to be a long-term, permanent relationship then I want to never be attracted to anyone else but Brett.”   It has been over eight years since God answered that prayer with a big unchanging YES!  God changed my thinking and allowing God to make that decision for me has created a fairy tale marriage where the rose-colored glasses never come off.  

 God loves me with an ever-lasting Cinderella fairy tale ending love.  God says yes to Him and I living in a perfect relationship together.  He wants me to see that in my relationship with Him everything He wants for me is perfect and will make me absolutely happy.  Sometimes at first I may question God’s perfect plan and insist on having my own way.  God won’t stop me from doing that but I wonder if He does a little victory dance when I finally come around to His way of thinking.

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Lessons From Sandy

30 Tuesday Oct 2012

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Brett and I currently live in the Northeast, directly in the path of “Sandy” the much publicized, monster storm. We do live about an hour and a half from the coast, but so far we have just seen a steady rainfall, without much wind.  We are just about as prepared as we can get.  We have cases of bottled water and we filled the bathtub with water.  I also gathered empty water jugs, filled them with water and put them in the freezer.  Brett bought six cords of wood for the fireplace and extra kerosene for the kerosene heater.  I made several days worth of carrot juice and put it in the freezer in case the electricity went out and I couldn’t operate my beloved juicer.  I went to the basement pulled out my emergency preparedness box, finding packages of instant oatmeal and other food items for such an occasion as this storm.  I’ll have to say though that the best part of this storm is having Brett at home.  School has been canceled for two days!

During the flurry of activity to prepare for the coming hurricane apocalypse, a thought struck me: The real question is have I prepared my spiritual life for any storms that may arrive?  Unlike physical storms most spiritual storms arrive without warning!  But, the best part of any spiritual storm that may arrive is that Jesus is there with us.  I’ve gone to great lengths to have my storm prep box full of all the essentials, but what about my spiritual storm prep box?  Do I have promises of living water, living bread, a little manna?  It’s all found in God’s word, which never closes and never runs out like Wal-Mart and Home Depot.   And, unlike my emergency weather band radio, doesn’t require batteries.  Despite any physical or spiritual preparations I have made, I need to realize that only God can provide everything I need.

Behold I am with you and will keep you in all places wherever you go…..  Genesis 28:15

Jesus Shows Up

29 Monday Oct 2012

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Yesterday I heard a man say that if people had enough faith when they prayed about it the massive storm that is headed for the NE would just turn out to sea.  While I do believe that God does have enough power to do that I think sometimes we need the storms in life.  Afterall Peter may never have walked on water if there had been no storm.  Jesus could have invited him to walk on water on a perfectly clear sunny day, but He didn’t.  Jesus showed up in the storm, walking on the water, and invited Peter to walk with Him.  It was in the storm that Peter knew that he needed the help of Jesus.  It is when life is clear and sunny that we tend to take God for granted.

When I have storms in my life Jesus shows up.  He doesn’t leave me to ride it out alone.  But, the choice is mine to join Him in walking on the water or to continue to sit in the boat.

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.  Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”  Matthew 14:32,33

Sex Ed 101

28 Sunday Oct 2012

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Today I walked into church to listen to my husband practice with the praise band.  He was singing a song when I walked in and sat down.  When the song ended a discussion followed before the next song was practiced.  I had the oddest sensation when I heard Brett’s voice begin to sing again.  My ears tingled and my heart sent out a warm sensation across my chest.  I smiled.  Then I felt sorry for everyone not as in-love as I am.  We met nine years ago and the sound of his voice still makes me warm and fuzzy.

Now for the part you have all been waiting for: The Sex Ed 101.  My analogy is this, if you have a great relationship with someone the natural expression of that is great sex.  So many people seem to miss that.  They want a relationship or a marriage with great sex and set up their criteria to have it.  They become ‘works oriented’ so to speak and define their relationship on the sex they have or don’t have.  They also want a partner who stays in shape and looks hot on date night.

How does this relate to my relationship with God?  Well how many times do you see someone trying to have a relationship with God based on their works?  It’s hard to keep up the good works without a great relationship with God.  If I have a great personal relationship with God then my works will be an automatic expression of that joy.  Just like a great sex life is an automatic outcome of a great relationship with someone based on trust, respect, extending of grace, and forgiveness.

Just like God’s forgiveness of us begins a relationship with Him, forgiveness is a good place start a new and improved relationship. It is hard to forgive someone who in your opinion doesn’t deserve your forgiveness.  But, when you stand before God and ask and receive His forgiveness  you are then obligated to share that forgiveness with others.  When we realize that God has forgiven us a trillion-dollar debt suddenly the $100,000 debt owed to us by someone else becomes miniscule.  We are glad to forgive it because God in His infinite grace gave the life of His son to be able to forgive us.  Pride and selfishness often stand in the way of forgiveness.   But the respect and trust you begin to share with the person you have forgiven will be the basis of a great relationship where ‘works’ are no longer worked on but an expression of the joy you have in your heart.

Lessons I’ve Learned From Cinderella and Prince Charming

27 Saturday Oct 2012

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Certainly no other fairy tale has stirred so many girls hearts as the story of Cinderella.  Cinderella lives a life of drudgery only to be magically swept off her feet and loved by none other than Prince Charming himself.  The man every girl wants to marry.  He has charm, good looks, money and power.  When he first meets Cinderella she is beautiful and shiny, full of magical sparkle.  After just moments in her presence he knows he has met his perfect woman, she represents everything he has been looking for.  The next few hours are magical as they spin and twirl to the music, incapable of doing anything but stare into each others eyes–Until the  clock strikes midnight and the realities of Cinderella’s life cause her to run away.

Prince Charming heart is devastated and he pools all his resources pursuing her until he finds her.  His heart remains true, he is not deterred by others who try to fit their too-big-feet into the glass slipper.  He will not give up until he finds his true love.  But when he finds her, he discovers she is not the perfectly appearing shiny girl he met at the party.  No.  He see’s the real her, dressed in rags.  Real true love abides in his heart though and when her foot slips easily into the glass slipper he loves her despite her ragged appearance and whisks her away to marry her and live happily ever after.  This story does not include separation and divorce.  No, this is a story about being romantically in love, a story of forever wearing rose colored glasses.  Only a fairy tale?  Well, for many it is, but for some it reveals a truth they have discovered that has made the forever fairy tale romance a reality in their lives.

You see, most people who read the story assume that what causes Prince Charming to fall desperately in love with Cinderella is her perfect hair, immaculate make up and trend-setting, stylish dress, not to mention those awesome crystal shoes she wears that are both fashionable and sensible!  But if that were true, then the moment he saw her in the rags of a scullery maid, he would have dropped the shoe and made a run for the palace.  Since that’s not what happened in the story, I think that he saw the same thing both in her royal regalia and her rags and that would be her inner beauty that shone brightly through her eyes, smile and character.  That’s what he fell in love with, no matter what she was wearing on the outside, he knew what was on the inside.

I think God sees us like Prince Charming saw Cinderella.  What I mean is that I can go to church and wear the right church clothes, say the right Christian words and lead out in the children’s division all while looking pretty shiny on the outside.  I can feel pretty good about my “Christianity” or Christian image.  But, when the circumstances of life come along and reveal that the real me just really just wears rags–filthy rags at that– that’s when God’s love for me really stays true.  He looks beyond the obvious, deeper than the dilemma and more searching than the surface.  He sees what’s in my heart, the real me, and that’s the person He loves, even if He is the only one who can see it.  He wants a relationship with the real me even if I am in rags.  It’s that kind of love that brings joy and peace in a relationship even through all the ups and downs and highs and lows.  It endures through success and failure because the object of God’s love is the heart of his child, you and I.  And He promises to write into each of our stories, “And they lived happily ever after.”

Perfecting Weakness or How Dare They!

26 Friday Oct 2012

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Brett needed to pick up some items for the school at Wal-mart so I decided to go with him and get a few items we needed.  Wal-mart didn’t seem especially busy, but when we went to check out the checkers were few, the people were many and the carts were over flowing.  We managed to snag a spot behind one large cart and a man who appeared to have nothing.  We soon discovered the reason he had nothing was because his wife was pushing the overflowing cart into the space he had saved for her.  Now we were behind two over flowing carts.  My first reaction was annoyance, but I decided to let it go.  If I let it go I would be happier and could move on rather than dwell on the unhappiness of waiting forever in a line at Wal-mart.

Now I’m not the type of person who would rant and rave at someone who did that to me, but I could have acted grumpy enough for them to get the message that I was unhappy with their behavior.  But, I decided that, since God so freely pours His grace out into me, that I need to share that grace with others.  Jesus says in Matthew 10:8, Freely ye have received, freely give.  So in all situations I should freely share the grace God has given to me.  Sometimes the weakness of my character allows me to feel as though surely I don’t have to share God’s grace to some undeserving person.  God has made sure to share special words for such a situation as well;  2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

How do I receive that power to perfect my weakness?  I draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that I may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of my need. (Hebrews 4:16)

I’m Giving Them The Cold Shoulder

25 Thursday Oct 2012

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I read the weather report and decided today was a good day to rake leaves  before it gets too cold.  I pushed through my desire to be a lazy couch potato and walked outdoors to begin the drudgery of raking billions of leaves off the grass.  Aspen came outside with me and had fun watching the leaves fall from the trees.  She asked what kind they were and if they were helicopter leaves since they twirled around and around as they drifted to the ground.  I did enjoy the sunshine, and the leaves, though dead and covering my yard, had an autumn beauty that brings to mind campfires and hot chocolate.   One other seasonal benefit is the fact that, by this time of year, it has been cold often enough that most of the bugs are gone.  During the summer when I went outside there were so many bugs I didn’t want to open my mouth to speak.  I would put on my wrap around sun glasses and a surgical mask before going outside to do any yard work.  But now, no pesky little buggies to spoil my enjoyment of the beauty of nature around me.

I got to thinking about how the heat kept the bugs around and multiplying while the cold killed the bugs until eventually they will be gone until the weather warms up again.  I got to thinking how annoying little bugs are a lot like annoying little negative thoughts.  I think Satan tries to pepper us with a plague of negative thoughts to distract us or downright ruin our enjoyment of the beauty God puts in and around us.  It reminded me how, if I have a negative thought, it will multiply if I give it a warm place in my thoughts and continue to think about it.  But, if I give those negative thoughts the “cold shoulder”, soon they will disappear. 

 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. Proverbs, 15:13

Seek And You Shall Find

23 Tuesday Oct 2012

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I occasionally run across the following FB post and ones like it on my FB page.  It is attributed to Marilyn Monroe.  “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes and am out of control and at times hard to handle.  But, if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best.”  I generally scroll by such generic posts and don’t give them much thought. 

But today I stopped to think about it.  In the above quote the person seems to expect to be loved despite their faults.  It can become a real quest, seeking love that just isn’t available.  The only One who really loves us the way we want to be loved is God. He is also the only one who asks to be loved in return without the same stipulations.  God doesn’t have to say, “Love me even though I have faults.”  God doesn’t have faults.  His love is perfect.   

I wonder why when God’s love is perfect and we all seem to be seeking perfect love that we avoid God’s love like it’s the plague?  Maybe it’s because perfect love requires real commitment.  When we profess to love someone who is imperfect, it’s easy to not be entirely committed, after all it’s hard to love the imperfections.  But when faced with perfect love, we run. We run because perfect love requires us to give up all that is familiar and not only receive the perfect love of God, but to pour it forth into the imperfect, undeserving souls of others.  And that is hard.

‘And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the LORD’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?’ Deuteronomy 10:12-13

Swimming With A Family Of Barracuda And A Shark

23 Tuesday Oct 2012

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Last week Colby had a short break from school.  His room mates family invited him and five others to go with them to Florida.  The family planned a boat ride to see the alligators in the Keys, time at the beach, and even an afternoon of water jet packing.

Colby told me that while they were playing in the ocean he saw barracuda and a shark.  Several of his friends brains had apparently been over worked while at school and were taking their own little vacations because they recklessly chased the shark through the water.  They gave up chasing the shark when they realized they didn’t want the shark to think they were playing a game of tag and that he was “it”.  Being Colby’s mom I was concerned about his safety while in the ocean with a family of barracuda and a shark!  But, he assured me that he kept his distance and that the other kids were closer than he was to any danger.

But, how close is too close?  How close can I get to sin before it turns around and bites me?  Sin seems to have a way of constantly swirling around us, and there isn’t much we can do about that.  But, I can choose whether or not I will chase it while disregarding the possibility that it may turn around and bite me.

“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”  2 Timothy 2:22

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7

Missing Turns In Life

22 Monday Oct 2012

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Brett put a book on hold at the Barnes and Noble in the next town.  After the last parent exited his office from a day of parent/teacher conferences Brett came home and we drove the 30 minutes to Barnes and Noble to pick up a book he wanted to use for teaching one of his classes.

Brett pulled out of  the mall parking lot and as we drove past the first street said, “Are we supposed to turn there?”  We were supposed to turn there and ended up sitting at a never-ending red light while Brett did his best to remain calm.  When the light finally turned green we made a left and ended up back at the original exit off the freeway.  If we had not missed out turn we would have arrived at our next destination much sooner.

Sometimes in life I seem to forget where I’m going and pass the turn I should have taken to keep me on the right path.  I’m thankful God doesn’t immediately give up on me and just let me wander in my lostness.  Just like we found another road that took us back to where we had started God will take me back to the path He wants me to be traveling.

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